Today’s Reason: You

If no one has told you lately, let me be the first: you are awesome and perfect just the way you are. Your journey is unique and no one else can inform your path. Others we choose to bring along our journey become our teachers, even if temporary, and guide us when enduring the hardest of times. The times where we struggle, the periods when the world is just too much and everything is a battle, the days when not one thing goes right. I’ve been there too. We all have. Yet, you are the answer. The power is within you, as it is within all of us, to grab the reigns, bear down, and ride those rocky paths of life with grace and triumph.

It’s taken me a lot of work over several years to finally love myself and have true compassion for others. For way too long, I ruminated on all the things I wasn’t: not kind enough, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not skinny enough- yet, surprise surprise, that did absolutely nothing for my motivation. All the negative thinking did was hold me in place; stewing in those comparison juices got me nowhere. The moment I started telling myself, “I want to do this, I can do this, I will do this, and I do not care what other people may think!” is when the real action began.

Where ever you are in your journey is the exact right place to be. Remember that! Once life takes you down a difficult road know that you have the ability and skill to choose how that difficulty dictates your life. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Breathe in the good, breathe out the bad.” and I am here to tell you that’s stupid. In times of strife, especially, one must take the good along with the bad as they are a package set. It is 100% okay, even necessary, to see and feel every inch of the bad, every little nook and cranny of it, in order to truly understand it. The good is you, the bad is you and both hold the answers you seek.

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Today’s Reason: 48!

Celebrated my 48th birthday on November 1st and this one was, by far, one of the best birthdays I have ever had! I did all of my favorite activities (yoga, hiking, got a massage, stayed at a fancy hotel, took a cooking class, ate a ton of beautiful and delish food), felt all the love from my family and friends, and didn’t even set that cheap Halloween wig on fire when blowing out my birthday candles! Best part of it all: no days lost to hangovers, no money nor time wasted on drunken ragers for other people, and no memories lost to black outs! (I did, unfortunately, get into an argument with a former drinking buddy but other people’s reaction to my sobriety is a subject for another post.)

In one year, so much has changed. I started off my 47th year of life with a weekend trip to wine country wherein my husband and I drank for 12 hours straight, joined 3 new wine clubs, purchased 16 bottles of wine, and were too hungover the next day to truly enjoy that fancy hotel or that beautiful food or do anything active whatsoever so started drinking/”celebrating” all over again! That was how I valued my time a year ago and that’s quite alright, acceptable to most even; but now, above all, I value presence, joy, learning and movement- all of which alcohol robbed me of for way too long.

Kicking off 48 with a 9 mile hike in
amazing Muir Woods!
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Funemployment: Week 1

I was let go a week ago. I am recovering. I am no longer wallowing. And I am keeping busy…

DAY ONE: Embrace all the outrage, anger, sadness, and humiliation in the world. Cry in husband’s arms, call/text all girlfriends for support and vent until I can’t vent anymore… then vent more. And cry more. Wanted- in every last fiber of my being- to open several bottles of wine and anesthetize from all these horrible feelings but, I didn’t. Instead, I called more friends and ate chocolate.

DAY TWO: Couldn’t sleep all night, woke up still feeling horrible. Wrote blog post about getting fired to try to feel better about getting fired. Kinda felt better. Kinda didn’t. Started applying for jobs. Successfully stayed away from the Wine Witch but did not escape the Chocolate Chum.

DAY THREE: That horrible, gut sinking feeling remains. Damnit. But holdonwaitasecondhere my job applications are getting responses! Two interviews scheduled already! Also got to the gym and listened to all the angry break-up songs while I attacked on the elliptical and did weights for an hour and that felt great. Rage seems to be abating but pretty sure I need a little more chocolate just to be sure.

Finding truth on the trails.
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New Goals, New Blog

Helloooo new blog!

Hi, I am Laura and hail from the Bay Area here in Northern California. In 2011 I started a blog called Running4theReason to document my fundraising and marathon training efforts for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training program and found a good amount of traction and success therein but my life priorities changed, running took a backseat, that blog got a virus, and I found myself in a very different mind frame thanks to all that the pandemic taught (much more on that later…).

I’ve made a lot of adjustments in my life since then and even recently- my biggest accomplishment therein being quitting drinking. As of today, I have not had alcohol in over 200 days. Wow. If you were able to read my old blog (damn virus!!!), you would think I was the poster child for drinking. Most of my races ended with wine and/or beer, I planned life events and all celebrations around drinking, I was even fairly boastful of the next day’s hangover- the more horrible I felt, the better time I had, right?

Nope. Not right at all.

Pretty, painless and all alcohol free!

Giving up alcohol is an interesting ride- really forces you to face your inner demons and teaches you to become your own best friend. I realized quickly how much I was using alcohol as a crutch for nearly everything: if I felt stressed, sad, celebratory, bored, and/or lonely I would reach for a bottle. Removing that option has improved my physical being, but my emotional state can often teeter, forcing me to look to my spiritual side in order to navigate without the anesthetic I was so used to relying on. Plainly put, I’m feeling all the feelings now and some of them are beautiful and some, downright ugly (much much more on that later as well…).

Seeking to gain more inner peace, while missing running as an athletic endeavor and desiring to connect with people on a similar path of enlightenment, I started a 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training certification program here in Berkeley and will “graduate” in February 2023. There is an abundance to learn and I am loving all that I am taking in; but, I am feeling a tad overwhelmed balancing work and life with my studies right now- I am behind on homework and have yet to actually try to teach anyone yoga (other than my fellow classmates) but I am working on a plan for all that (you guessed it, there will much much much more on that later too!).

Oooommmmmm…

And with that I say YAY ME for returning to the blogosphere and YAY YOU for joining me on this journey! Where this path will lead, we have yet to know but the bricks we lay to get there is what life is all about… so much more to come…