Today’s Reason: Comfort

On March 7, 2023March 7, 2023 By LauraIn Alcohol, Friendship, Health, Injury, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Today's ReasonsLeave a comment

Three weeks into recovery from my second ACDF surgery and I am adapting to bed rest much better this time around. As you can see, I’ve created a nice little nest complete with fluffy blankets, fragrant candle, and fuzzy puppy. It feels just as good as it looks and I am incredibly grateful for these simple luxuries as they have allowed me to follow post-op instructions perfectly: to remain as comfortable as possible.

Not sure where I heard the phrase, “Comfort starts at home.” And nothing is truer- covid lockdown certainly taught us that! Already well trained in staying put plus having gone through this same ACDF recovery two years ago, I am a pro at corralling creature comforts (that also happen include an actual creature named Timber- isn’t he the cutest?!).

Yet comfort goes well beyond the things we can see and touch. Comfort is also found in thoughts, emotions, and the people we surround ourselves with. If we can agree that comfort starts at home, then we can further agree that the concept of “home” stems way beyond four walls and a door- home is also where our body meets our brain. Home is the soul, the place where your true spirit lives.

All that a body and mind seek is comfort: free from pain, healthy, strong, hydrated, well-rested, and loved. Ease of self, through and through is much easier said than done. It is a privilege to attain true comfort and a lot of people do not live an existence that allows for that, including me. Being comfortable in the uncomfortable, rather, seems to be life’s ultimate goal.

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Former Drinking Buddies

On February 24, 2023February 25, 2023 By LauraIn Alcohol, Friendship, Health, Inspiration, Lifestyle, sobriety2 Comments

A few months ago, I spent time with some former drinking buddies and walked away feeling confused and disappointed yet strangely liberated. When I gave up alcohol, these friendships shifted immediately. Removing the through line of the thing that brought us together in the first place left behind a vast silence- while they never discouraged me from quitting drinking, they haven’t encouraged me either. They just went silent.

It took me a while to share Sober Laura with these friends. There were a couple I felt particularly nervous to reveal Sober Laura to as I knew they would make my choice about them- and I was right. Upon telling one former drinking buddy, she said, “Yeah, I always knew you had a problem. Not me though. I’ve never had a problem with alcohol.”

This person I partied and drank with for over 20 years; yet, I am the one with the “problem”. Neat!

The conversation turned into an argument. I pointed out- very loudly- that there had not been one get together in the past two decades of knowing each other where alcohol was not the main focus. Further, to label me as someone with a “problem” with no blame placed on the addictive substance itself is downright insulting. In the end, we hugged it out, relayed hollow let’s-get-together-again-soon platitudes, and I left knowing full well that the friendship was over.

I felt true sadness on one hand but, on the other, complete relief.

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Surgery Recovery Necessities

On February 20, 2023 By LauraIn Health, Injury, Lifestyle, Pain, surgery, Trauma3 Comments

*One week post-op: keeping a brave face through my second spine surgery recovery (and a heckuva lot of pain meds).*

One week ago, I underwent a second ACDF spine surgery and have been home recovering since. It’s been real. This time around has not been like the first surgery, in fact, it has been harder. Luckily, I have developed the tools to handle this situation a lot better and while I am not ready to write a lengthy essay surrounding philosophies of healing and self-care, I am ready to share some of the little things… too often slivers of happiness are found in the tiniest of treasures.

Pajamas. The comfier, the better and with 6 weeks of recovery looming, that’s a lot of PJs! PJs happen to be my favorite clothing item, I have often planned get togethers around the wearing of PJs because comfort must be celebrated. I have tried ~~a lot~~ all of the major brands, at all different price points but right now, I am living in my Land’s End flannel bottoms and Target workout top. Other favorite bottoms that help to fully embrace the comfort of bed rest include all the Athleta joggers and once the weather warms up, Old Navy cotton bottoms.

Deliciousness. To recover well, you gotta eat well. My surgeon has repeated that my nutrition must be top notch as I heal in order to give the bones what they need and to just feel good. Currently, I am on a liquid diet (as my surgery was through the neck and swallowing is painful) so drinking super healthy things for 3 meals a day is hard but I did my research the first time around and ordered up a ton of bone broth and soup from Kettle and Fire and smoothies, nut milks, and green juices from Pressed Juicery.

More deliciousness. All that healthy stuff is well and good and exactly what my body needs but my soul craves some indulgence too- especially when I am in pain and feeling sorry for myself. It’s all a part of recovery and liquid diets allow for lots of fun things like milkshakes, ice cream, and pudding. Yuuuum. Hubby brought home a box of Entenmann’s “Soft’ees” Doughnuts and those, exactly as described, were super soft and super good!

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Under The Knife

On February 6, 2023February 6, 2023 By LauraIn Child Abuse, Health, Injury, Inspiration, Lifestyle, TraumaLeave a comment

In one week I will undergo a second spine surgery. Through the past several months, I have done everything possible to manage the pain to some avail sometimes. When I was really in it, I was in complete and total misery. All seemed much better as of late, but not according to my spine surgeon.

I was anticipating a potential surgery many months down the road, but was told that, in fact, it is scheduled for February 13th- down came an avalanche of worry, guilt, fear, sadness and anxiety.

Worry and guilt about leaving my husband without help as I recover for 6-8 weeks. Worried about losing my brand new job, anxiety about telling my new boss, and major guilt for pulling this on her just 2 weeks after I began work. Guilt for letting the senior center down where I was about to start teaching yoga. Sadness that my yoga momentum is coming to an abrupt halt and that my fitness will go right back to zero. And, above all, fear and anxiety about the surgery itself.

This is my second ACDF (Anterior Cervical Dissection and Fusion) surgery for the same problem, Cervical Degenerative Disease. I have battled problems with my cervical column for over 25 years, these issues more than likely due to the child abuse I endured wherein my mom chose to wrap her hands around my neck and squeeze.

All the things I have been practicing about mindfulness, kindness, and compassion flew right out the window the moment the spine department said, “February 13th.” You can meditate your face off, practice yoga for hours every day, and read every single philosophy book known to mankind but we are still going to be faced with situations that are uncomfortable, unpleasant, and unavoidable- the truest tests of our character.

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Top News in Alcohol: 12.27.22

On December 27, 2022January 8, 2023 By LauraIn Alcohol, Health, Lifestyle, News, sobrietyLeave a comment

Alcohol and Running
Came across this article on RunnersWorld.com and as a former marathon runner who drank all through my running days, I was happy to see this story finally being told to such a large audience! I wrote about this in posts prior as the topic hits very close to home: the act of doing something healthy paired with alcohol was my go-to for many years and I am not alone in this! The virtuousness that is exercise “deserves” a drink and as runners, this is proven by the fact that most races offer a beer or glass of wine upon crossing the finish line. Most races also start very early in the morning. Most races, therefore, make it completely acceptable to drink before breakfast as well as send the message that only with alcohol can we celebrate our accomplishments.

Races besides, it is also the community running and drinking create. The largest running group in my city is called the East Bay Beer Runners, at over 6,000 members strong. They meet at a different local bar weekly, run, then drink and socialize. Another group, the Running Lushes, I was a member of and even though it’s a smaller group, most members are very well known in the Bay Area Running Influencer circles (because yes, that is totally a thing). Even I led a mommy running/drinking group for many years called the Cocktail Moms.

“… the benefits Americans attribute to alcohol—that it is good for the heart, helps you sleep, eases pain—are false… The truth is, there’s no safe amount of alcohol, not even one drink a day… blithely telling yourself beer is a recovery drink because it has carbs and your Tuesday night run ends at a bar? Not so much.”

Society tells us that alcoholics drink in the morning or on the weekdays. Society also tells us that “responsible drinking” does not include slamming pints after we exercise. Then, are runners who grab that congratulatory drink after a race at 8am irresponsible alcoholics?

Both lifestyles are enmeshed and this is the first, I hope of many, articles calling out the oxymoronic nature therein. I also hope that race companies will start to seek more NA partnerships thereby offering at least more than water NA options post-race. Money is the driver here as always but read on for another article that shows a distinct uptick in the consumption of NA beverages in 2022.

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Dear Laura: I’m Sorry

On December 8, 2022December 11, 2022 By LauraIn Child Abuse, Health, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Pain, TraumaLeave a comment

Dear Laura:
I owe you more apologies and even more applause for the things we’ve gone through over the bumpy course of these 48 years. We’ve done a lot and we’ve seen a lot and I have held you back at nearly every turn. Often I’ve ignored the truth and lied to you more times than I care to admit and for this, I confess my fault in it all.

I am sorry for allowing toxic relationships to abuse you and for destructive environments to punish you. You were always right from the start- every time you said things were too stressful and too dramatic and too threatening I didn’t listen, I only told you to take it all with a smile and go back for more the next day. When you recognized these harmful situations, I was wrong in telling you to accept things for what they are. You always knew better.

I am sorry for the mistreatment you suffered at the hands of your parents. You had nothing to do with their inability to love and show kindness, it was not your fault that they physically and mentally abused you, at least we can both agree about that. But all those times I said you deserved it, again I was wrong. You never deserved abuse. I am regretful for ever putting that on you. Look at how much you’ve accomplished despite that lack of unconditional parental love. I am sorry that continues to haunt you and I promise to remind you of how much you shine, how much love and comfort you provide for your own family even though you were never taught how- you always had it in you.

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Top News in Alcohol: 12.7.22

On December 7, 2022December 26, 2022 By LauraIn Alcohol, Health, Lifestyle, News, sobrietyLeave a comment

Alcohol and the World Cup
According to a recent article posted on CNN.com, “… no alcohol would be sold at the eight stadiums which will host the tournament’s 64 matches. Alcohol will only be served in designated fan parks and other licensed venues around Doha, FIFA said in a statement.” This is not a new rule as the same applies in France, Spain, Portugal, and Scotland, where no beer is allowed in stadiums at all- if those countries can survive without a drink for 3 whole hours while watching a match, why can’t the U.S.?

Reuters covered this same story in a different light, reporting that female fans feel safe at Qatar World Cup thanks to reduced alcohol consumption. As noted in the aforementioned article, intoxication due to the overserving of alcohol at sporting events and the link between public disturbances and violence has been of great concern and we already know that several studies (just a few here, here, and here) have linked major sporting events to an increase in reports of domestic violence, “It is well known that incidences of abuse and violence increase when teams lose, but there are also more reported incidences when they win.”

Then is stands to reason, why is masculinity and sports fueled by alcohol? Al Jazeera even posed that question with their recent article, “Beer, Sport, Men: Inside the ‘Holy Trinity’ of Alcohol Marketing” which states that the link between the 3 and the violence towards women that results is truly led by the desire of the markets and the money to be made therein. Thankfully, the urge toward decoupling the worlds of alcohol and sports is on the rise, with profit motives now leaning toward inclusivity and a shift away from the more “toxic” and violent elements of the culture.

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